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THE MICROWAVE
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Forget USC Rivalry! UCLA Football's New Biggest Opponent Local Middle School
After a string of devastating losses, a series of confused coaches who thought “football” meant soccer, and millions of poorly spent dollars which could have been used to grade my goddamn Math 32B homework, the UCLA Athletics Department has announced that the traditional crosstown rivalry against USC would be scrapped in favor of competing against the John Adams Middle School flag-football team.
Anthony Schitzen-Panz
Dec 1, 20251 min read
BREAKING NEWS
Local
Forget USC Rivalry! UCLA Football's New Biggest Opponent Local Middle School
After a string of devastating losses, a series of confused coaches who thought “football” meant soccer, and millions of poorly spent dollars which could have been used to grade my goddamn Math 32B homework, the UCLA Athletics Department has announced that the traditional crosstown rivalry against USC would be scrapped in favor of competing against the John Adams Middle School flag-football team.
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Female Neanderthal sighted near UCLA, adorned with the deceased muppet's skin flaps. Source: local crackhead TONGVA, CA. — Legendary childhood icon Cookie Monster was found deceased this past Halloween, apparently at the hands of an ancient neanderthal. Cookie Monster had previously been reported missing on Saturday, October 26, 2024. Extensive search parties were deployed, the likes of which had not been seen since the attempt to locate the missing Donner Party in 1847. For
U.S.
Easter in November? Target Trashes Traditional Treats in Tail-Twistin' Triumph
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World
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Politics
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[Archive] The June 27th Presidential Debate
It was quite a spectacle as the incumbent, a worn-out gym sock, faced relentless verbal and olfactory attacks from the challenger, a...
Entertainment
Forget USC Rivalry! UCLA Football's New Biggest Opponent Local Middle School
After a string of devastating losses, a series of confused coaches who thought “football” meant soccer, and millions of poorly spent dollars which could have been used to grade my goddamn Math 32B homework, the UCLA Athletics Department has announced that the traditional crosstown rivalry against USC would be scrapped in favor of competing against the John Adams Middle School flag-football team.
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Harvard Researchers SHOCKED: 5 Weird Hacks PROVEN to Fix Your Sad, Pathetic Life
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Comics
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